Saturday 16 June 2012

Making Decisions

One thing I hate doing is trying to decide between two or more things that present the same extraordinary advantages cuz i can be sooo indecisive at times. But I'm not talking about things like picking a shoe from the store, or trying to decide which dress to wear to a party. I'm talking about bigger decisions, like what university to go to, what course to study, what youu should make your blog/website about, who to support in an argument between your mother and your wife (lol). Sometimes, making a decision, no matter how simple, may be the most difficult thing to do. So here are six amazing steps on how to make decisions, generally.

1) List your options. Prima facie, it may appear that there is only one course of action, but that is usually not true. Even if your situation seems limited, try to make a list of alternatives. Refrain from evaluating at this point; brainstorm and write down every idea that comes to mind, as crazy as it may seem. You can always cross it off the list later, but with those crazy ideas might come some creative solutions that you might not have considered otherwise. Then ask other people for suggestions. Be terse and ask them what they might do in your situation. Sometimes strangers can offer the most creative ideas because they do not share your assumptions or biases.


2) Weigh the possible outcomes. For every option, list every possible outcome and label it as positive or negative. One way to do this is to put a plus sign (+) next to a positive outcome and a minus sign (-) next to each negative outcome; especially positive or negative outcomes can get two signs instead of one. Some people find it helpful to make a decision tree, which lays out every possibility in visual format.

  •  For every scenario, think about whether the best possible outcome is worth accepting the risk of the worst possible outcome. If the worst possible outcome is completely unacceptable to you, meaning that you could never forgive yourself if it happens, then you probably shouldn't make that decision. 
  • Make note of the likelihood of each outcome. Give each one a percentage (e.g. there's an 80% chance of this happening, and a 20% chance of that happening). Make sure your estimates are based on experience or observation; otherwise, your fear or excitement might distort your perception of probability. 
  • Consider which option will encounter the most resistance and why. Significant difficulty in implementing a decision can sometimes outweigh the benefits of the outcome, depending on the situation. Other times, it's the most resisted decision that would make the biggest difference. 
3) Consult your intuition. You must feel comfortable with the decision. On your list or tree, place markings next to those decisions that are backed up by your intuition. There are several ways to find out which those are:

  •  Imagine your ideal self. If you were already the person you're striving to be, what would you do? If this is difficult to grasp, then think of your role models and heroes--the people who inspire you. What would they do in your place, and why? 
  • Focus your mind through meditation or prayer. Push analysis out of your head and trust the guidance of something other than your conscious mind, whether it's a deity, the universe, or your subconscious mind. Which decision feels right now? 
  • Visualize every outcome in detail. Engage all your senses when you picture what could happen as a result of each decision. If you're debating whether to visit a certain destination, for example, imagine that you're there--the views, the smells, the sounds, and every last detail. Maybe you'll find that you want it--or don't want it--more than you thought you did. Just be sure to imagine every outcome in detail, not just the best or the worst ones. 
  • Fast forward. Imagine you've already made the decision; which one would you feel the proudest of? Which one makes you feel like a better person or as though you've made the world a better place? If you were on your deathbed, looking back on your entire life, which decision would you be most likely to regret? 
4)  Make a choice. This is, of course, the hardest step, but there will hopefully be a decision on your list that is backed up by both logic and intuition. It should have more plus signs than negative signs, and it should have your intuition's approval. If things don't match up clearly, though, ask for advice from people you trust. This can be a good tie-breaker.

  •  No matter which decision you make, be prepared to accept responsibility for every outcome. If things don't work out, it's always better to have made a conscious decision than to have been careless. At least you can say that you did the best you could. 
  • If you can, make a backup plan in preparation for any negative outcome. Think ahead. The best decision makers aren't people who never make mistakes; they're people who hope for the best and prepare for the worst. 
5)  Implement your decision wholeheartedly and joyfully. Once you have made a decision, implement it totally. At this stage, don't be confused by thinking about the other potential alternatives that you did not pick.

6) Evaluate your decision. This is the most important step. If you don't evaluate your decision afterward, you won't learn anything from it. Ask yourself whether the outcome was what you expected. Would you do it again? What do you know now that you didn't know before? How would you turn this lesson learned into advice? By drawing insight and wisdom from every decision you make, you can ensure that every choice has at least one positive outcome.

Tips

  • Don't get too hung up on keeping your options open. Researchers have found that our aversion to letting doors close, so to speak, results in poor decisions. 
  • Don't get lost in the decision-making process. Give yourself a time limit if you have to make the decision soon or if the decision is relatively unimportant. There is the risk of "paralysis by analysis". If you are trying to decide what movie to rent this weekend, don't spend an hour writing down titles. 
  • Remember that you may not have enough information to make a good decision. Do more research if you're having trouble narrowing down your options. Also realize that the information you need may not be available to you. After reviewing all the information you have, you may have to go ahead and make a decision. 
  • Don't overthink it. If you try too hard, you may miss the obvious. 
  • No scenario is perfect. Once you have made a decision, carry it out wholeheartedly as best as you can without regrets and without worrying about the other alternatives you did not pick. 
  • After your decision is made, new major information may come to light suggesting alterations to or the wholesale reversal of your original decision. Don't be afraid to go through the decision-making process again if this happens. Consider that all your options may be about equally good if you have thought about the decision for a very long time. In that case, all the options may have great advantages and great disadvantages. You would've already made the decision if one of the options could be proven to be significantly better than the others.

 Warnings

  • Stay away from people who make it seem as though they want what's best for you, but assume they know what that is and you don't. Their suggestions might be right, but if they refuse to account for your feelings and concerns, they might be very, very wrong as well. 
  • Remember that at some point, indecision becomes a decision to do nothing, which might be the worst decision of all.
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Thursday 7 June 2012

Top 10 worst female health habits


Wearing heels

More and more of us are opting to wear heels on a daily basis, and this could be bad news for our health. High heels affect our posture, put pressure on joints, and can lead to a range of conditions including arthritis, hammer toes, back pain and tendon injuries – and that’s before you take into account any heel-related accidents! To minimise damage, limit your heels to 1.5 inches for daily wear, and wear insoles to help reduce the pressure on joints.
Women wearing high heelsWomen wearing high heels


Carrying a heavy handbag

With the rising number of gadgets and accessories the majority of women haul around, many of us are carrying around several pounds of weight on our shoulders every day. As a result, lots of us are also putting our long term health at risk. While you may not feel the effects right now, lugging around a heavy handbag can lead to serious back problems and neck pain as well as poor posture. Don’t wait until the damage is done – do your health a favour and try clearing out all non-essential items and switching to a smaller bag.


Sleeping in makeup

Most of us have succumbed to the temptation to sleep in our post-party makeup at some point. However, leaving makeup on overnight – along with the dirt and oil that naturally accumulates on skin throughout the day – is a quick route to clogged pores, congested skin and spots. Sleeping with mascara and eye makeup on can also affect your health by causing eye irritation, bloodshot eyes or even infection.


Matching men drink for drink

From networking drinks to first dates and social events, there are many instances when women may feel compelled to keep up with the drinking habits of the opposite sex. However, women not only tend to weigh less than men but they have less body water to dilute the alcohol, which means they tend to get more drunk more quickly. To minimise the risks of alcohol on your health, try to keep within the recommended guidelines for alcohol consumption and alternate alcohol with soft drinks.


Wearing the wrong bra size

It is thought that more than 70 per cent of women are wearing the wrong bra size. However, wearing a badly fitted bra can not only affect the look of your clothes, but research suggests it can cause a range of health problems including back, neck and breast pain, breathing difficulties, poor posture, skin irritation, circulation problems and even irritable bowel syndrome. Rather than guessing your size, make sure you get measured to ensure you are getting the support you need.


Worrying and harbouring regrets

Stress is damaging to both our physical and mental health, and women are twice as likely as men to suffer from stress-related disorders, as well as having higher rates of depression and anxiety. While it is thought there may be biological reasons for this, worrying about the future and dwelling on regrets can also add to our problems, with research suggesting that women are more than twice as likely as men to harbour regrets over lost loves and broken relationships.


Obsessing over appearance

While both genders suffer from body insecurity, many women tend to overly obsess over their idea of the “perfect” body. Research findings published in the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology found that 16 per cent of the normal or underweight women studied believed themselves to be overweight, while a study commissioned by Dove found that 90 per of women wanted to change at least one aspect of their appearance. Body insecurity not only affects our mental health, but it can also lead to physical damage caused by extreme diets, yo-yo dieting, eating disorders and cosmetic surgery.
Woman looking in the mirrorWoman looking in the mirror


Emotional eating

While comfort eating affects both genders, research has suggested that men are more likely to reinforce positive emotions with food, while women comfort eat when they’re sad. Women are also more likely to satisfy their cravings with sweet, high-calorie foods. Rather than letting your waistline suffer next time you’re feeling blue, try distracting yourself from cravings by doing something you enjoy, or boost your endorphins and health with an uplifting workout.


Not getting enough sleep

Not only can lack of sleep make us look and feel at our worst, but insufficient shut-eye can also lead to increased accidents, calorie consumption and heart disease risk. Unluckily for women, statistics suggest that sleep problems affect more women than men, while a study by the University of Michigan found that women are more than twice as likely to give up sleep to care for others. Unfortunately, sleep has been found to affect women’s blood pressure and mood more than men’s, making it imperative that you do your best to get a good night’s sleep.


Putting themselves last

Not only are women more likely to compromise their sleeping habits to care for children and others, they are also prone to putting their own wants and needs at the bottom of a hectic to-do list of chores and obligations. To avoid running yourself into the ground, learn to sometimes say no to those requests and commitments that are less than essential, and make sure you set aside some “me” time each week to do something enjoyable just for you. Read more on realbuzz.com...
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TRUST AND LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS


So, I got a message asking me to write a post on this topic, so here it is.
The biggest problem with long distance relationships is lack of trust. There are many reasons for long distance relationship; when you meet someone while vacationing and start dating and then finally have to go back home, when your partner has to relocate on an official or military assignment and a lot of other reasons. All I know is, if the relationship is meant to be, it WILL work, no matter the distance. All you have to do is learn to trust your partner; in fact, your whole relationship should be built on trust. Learn all about trusting your boyfriend here.
When you begin to get those weird thoughts of him being with another woman, stop right away and switch to positive thoughts.
Communication is key, if you have a reason to doubt your partner, talk it out with him/her. Now, from wikihow, here’s how to make a long distance relationship work(18 steps).
1. Consider using Skype video chat calls every day, text messaging, phone calls and email every day. It is important to keep up contact and to be in eachother’s daily lives as much as possible.
2. Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the limits of the relationship. Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend-girlfriend, engaged) as well as defining exclusive (limited to one person,) or non-exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?" or "What are you looking to get out of the relationship?" Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to keep up what they need.
3. Do things together. Defy the distance. As a long distance couple, it's important to do other things together besides the usual phone call. In a long distance relationship, interaction over the phone can become dull in the long run. Incorporating other forms of interaction are important. Just think... People in short-distance relationships do not spend the majority of their time talking, but rather doing things with each other. Try to replicate this by finding things to do together such as watching a TV show or movie simultaneously. Here's a free list of 100+ things you can do with your long distance partner.
4. Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and keep up an emotional connection. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask on for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Ensure the e-mails are substantive and detailed, it will show that you care enough to put in the time and effort. Write love letters. Send small gifts, cards, or send flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand—you don't take communication for granted!
You can set up reminders, including automatically recurring reminders, for this purpose in calendaring software on your computer or online. This is especially important when you don't have much contact with the others friends to remember important events such as birthdays.
5. Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (and not snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, not being dragged into a bunch of chick flicks, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to keep up your individuality—something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together. Here are added benefits of long distance relationships.
6. Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.
7. Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match—or someone else is a better match—your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.
8. Try challenging each other. This is not the same as being controlling. You may find that you can do things for each other that you couldn't find the motivation to do on your own. Perhaps you could motivate yourselves to get some exercise or to cook better or more often. It will give you something to do while you wait to see your partner again, and it will give you both something to strive for and talk about until then.
9. Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.
10. Remember: Things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.
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WHY HE WON’T CALL YOU BACK AFTER YOUR FIRST DATE


“He couldn't stop staring at me…”
“He couldn’t stop saying how pretty ma eyes looked…”
“WHY DIDN’T HE CALL ME BACK!!!”
This has probably happened to so many of us after our first dates. Just when you think you both hit it off, he doesn’t call back!! Urgh!
One of the most important things to learn about dating is that much like when you’re in a relationship with a guy and they fear confrontation and nagging, many men are wusses about conveying in any way that is date is anything less than up to par. This means that they will carry on like they’re on the date of their life and make you feel good about it even though they have no intention of seeing you again because they don’t want to look like a prick and need to make you feel good about them and the date. So while you’re thinking it was great, his opinion might be completely different.
On the other hand, the problem might be from the guy and not from you.
He could be fickle, emotionally unavailable, or bored because he’s already managed to have sex with you. Sometimes we make the mistake of assuming that a sexual connection makes a great date when in fact it can often spell the last date.
To avoid this, here are some things you can do:
Instructions
1)       Food. Eat a decent amount of food at the restaurant. Even if you diet all the time to keep your figure, you don't need to make it look like you have issues with food on the first date.
2)       Smile. This is the easiest way to let him know you are interested in him. If he doesn't get the clue that you're interested, he probably will not bother calling you for another date.
3)       Courtesy. If he opens the car door for you, be sure to reach over and unlock his side. This shows him that you are considerate and think about other people.
4)       Be polite. Say please and thank you to him and everyone else around you. Show him how pleasant you are to be around.
5)       End the date with a kiss on the cheek or a peck on the lips. You want to leave him wanting more and not wondering how many other guys you've done that with on a first date....
6)       Do not stay out too late. Resist the urge to go to his place after dinner. If you go to his place, he may again wonder how many other times you've done this on a first date....
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