So, I got a message asking me to write a post on this topic, so here it is.
The biggest problem with long distance relationships is lack of trust. There are many reasons for long distance relationship; when you meet someone while vacationing and start dating and then finally have to go back home, when your partner has to relocate on an official or military assignment and a lot of other reasons. All I know is, if the relationship is meant to be, it WILL work, no matter the distance. All you have to do is learn to trust your partner; in fact, your whole relationship should be built on trust. Learn all about trusting your boyfriend here.
When you begin to get those weird thoughts of him being with another woman, stop right away and switch to positive thoughts.
Communication is key, if you have a reason to doubt your partner, talk it out with him/her. Now, from wikihow, here’s how to make a long distance relationship work(18 steps).
1. Consider using Skype video chat calls every day, text messaging, phone calls and email every day. It is important to keep up contact and to be in eachother’s daily lives as much as possible.
2. Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the limits of the relationship. Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend-girlfriend, engaged) as well as defining exclusive (limited to one person,) or non-exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?" or "What are you looking to get out of the relationship?" Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to keep up what they need.
3. Do things together. Defy the distance. As a long distance couple, it's important to do other things together besides the usual phone call. In a long distance relationship, interaction over the phone can become dull in the long run. Incorporating other forms of interaction are important. Just think... People in short-distance relationships do not spend the majority of their time talking, but rather doing things with each other. Try to replicate this by finding things to do together such as watching a TV show or movie simultaneously. Here's a free list of 100+ things you can do with your long distance partner.
4. Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and keep up an emotional connection. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask on for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Ensure the e-mails are substantive and detailed, it will show that you care enough to put in the time and effort. Write love letters. Send small gifts, cards, or send flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand—you don't take communication for granted!
You can set up reminders, including automatically recurring reminders, for this purpose in calendaring software on your computer or online. This is especially important when you don't have much contact with the others friends to remember important events such as birthdays.
5. Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (and not snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, not being dragged into a bunch of chick flicks, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to keep up your individuality—something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together. Here are added benefits of long distance relationships.
6. Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.
7. Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match—or someone else is a better match—your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.
8. Try challenging each other. This is not the same as being controlling. You may find that you can do things for each other that you couldn't find the motivation to do on your own. Perhaps you could motivate yourselves to get some exercise or to cook better or more often. It will give you something to do while you wait to see your partner again, and it will give you both something to strive for and talk about until then.
9. Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.
10. Remember: Things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.
Related articles
- Are Long Distance Relationships Better? (hothits957.cbslocal.com)
- Ideas for Keeping a Long-distance Relationship Fresh (socyberty.com)
- How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work?? (loveimpact2012.wordpress.com)
- 12 Steps To Surviving A Long Distance Relationship (buzzfeed.com)
- How to Keep Up The Loving: Creative Ideas For Your Long Distance Relationship (seredadailey.wordpress.com)
What's up with the name? Inspired by an East Coast-West Coast long-distance relationship, Latty 39 is all about finding exciting locales to meet up somewhere in the middle (or not, as the case may be!). The center of the US is Latitude 39 - THUS, Latty39!
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